PILAK

...young enough to believe that anything is possible, old enough to make that belief a reality - Niequist

In one of our sleepovers (so high school di ba?), my friends and I found ourselves discussing about our generation’s favorite subject: AGE. Those born in the same year as us will be turning 25 years old next year and though some might think of that as still young, especially our parents who will forever consider us as pre-schoolers on a leash, for us 1986-born-people-power babies, we look back at our childhood days and think of them as part of the Jurassic era.

It’s kind of scary, especially for me, because I have moving on issues. I haven’t moved on from my uncombed-not-fit-for-corporate UP college hair. FYI, I love Meg Ryan because of her crazy hair in forever disarray and just-got-out-of-bed look which make her oh-so adorable. My hair is as crazy and is forever in disarray that I need to constantly remind myself that I am not Meg Ryan and I’m not really oh-so adorable.

I haven’t moved on from my Paulinian way of speaking.  The nuns who looked after my 11 years of Catholic education made sure that I won’t forget bamboo is pronounced as ‘beymbooh’, cocoa as ‘kokeyo’ and ‘the’, ‘these’ and ‘that’ are articulated with the‘t’ sounding like ‘z’.

I haven’t moved on from the glorious feeling of being the youngest and yet, am entrusted to play a significant role in an organization. I get thrilled when I am mentored because in the near future, I want to be the mentor. It’s my not so secret dream to become a teacher. =D

So moving on from this inability to move on, Bes (our barkada’s resident genius), brought up the concept of time lines – that stressful chart which dictates that one should have been a rock star by 26, with master’s degree or PhD by 27, married by 28, with kids by 30, millionaire by 32 and a lot more deadlines to becoming a responsible and fulfilled member of society. I told my friends I refuse to make such time line as I’d rather go with the flow and not stress myself so with these deadlines. Spontaneous is not one of my 5 favorite words for nothing (the other 4 are wanderlust, serendipity, thoroughbred, and kindred). But really, though I hate to admit it, at the back of my mind, I refuse to lay down a timeline because I am afraid – scared that by 27, I’m still not Mrs. Brad Pitt or by 28, I’m still not the number 1 in FHM’s list of the sexiest women in the world. I am afraid that I will not be that someone I set myself to become at some certain age and that might (and I know it will) frustrate me.  I know myself so well; I am so protective of me.

Bes retorted that drawing a time line is a person’s way of saying, “oh hey mister universe and mister destiny and mister fate, I will rock the world on the 25^th year of my existence because I said so and no amount of your intervention will stop me from doing that”. It is sort of announcing and conditioning all elements in this world that something needs to be achieved by me at a specific time and these forces better help or if not, keep out of the way.

So I am turning 25 next year. Big deal. I still refuse to make a time line, but sooner or later, I know I will. But for now, I am making a list. A list of things to do before I turn 25. My Before-I-turn-25 resolutions. Because I want to announce to the entire universe that though I have not figured out my big-time plans in life yet (and I apologize for my cluelessness), at least I have goals, no matter how plain and simple they may be:

Before I turn 25:

1) I should have been to Batanes.

2) I should have worn my two-piece bikini in Boracay. weh.

Batanes is my ultimate travel destination in the Philippines. I think it is the purest place in this country and it would make a lovely escape from the city. I want to experience Filipino culture in its most unadulterated and most unpretentious form (whatever that means).

As for Boracay, while I would rather be somewhere I can surf, I want to see the Philippine’s most popular  beach because it would suck to be the only 25-year old who has not been there.

3) I should have learned the basics of surfing. I could stand easily on the surf board but that’s just about it. I don’t know how to paddle nor know when the next wave is coming. I am so dependent on my instructor, I’m helpless.

4) I should have done something with my hair.

5) I should have gone diving. I don't care which site. As long as it is under the sea. hehe. =p

Under the sea happens to be the only Disney song saved in my phone and Ariel, the little mermaid, is my favorite Disney princess. (pambata!=D) Gusto ko lang isingit.

6) I should have started saving up for my retirement fund.

7) I should have finished a semester in the Language and Literacy Education course I will enroll in this semester and have at least written an appeal that I be directly admitted to the university’s Master’s program.

8) I should have gained a few more pounds to put the ‘ter’ in hot – hotter, gets? Haha!

9) I should have at least tried belly dancing/strip tease lesson. =p

10) I should have started learning how to drive. I’m pathetic, I can’t drive. My 12-year old cousin zooms past EDSA behind the wheel, while I stay on the sidewalk waiting for a taxi to take me wherever.

11) I should have made someone genuinely happy.

Good luck to me!=D

ALEX

I am crushing on Alessandra da Rossi. =p

HELLO BALER

...where we had thought to be alone, we shall be with all the world. - Joseph Campbell

Soul Searching by Sabang Shore.

I hope to share my Baler stories soon. It was my first time to travel solo, I am glad I did. =D

IT'S THURSDAY

How much can one absorb in a day?
I refuse to acknowldege the not so good ones because in keeping with the attitude of gratitude (i still love the expression!) theme, let's just count our blessings today shall we?

a) JOB OFFER

I stopped working a week after my 24th birthday and I am not particularly proud of it. I was being selfish and irresponsible but that time, it seemed like the only way to redeem whatever amount of esteem I have left for myself. I'm scared to even admit that and I recklessly plunged into unplanned joblessness. I skipped the math and just decided that my savings could tide me over the rest of the year without any source of income. But there is rent to pay. And credit card bills to settle. And shoes - lots of them. And that desire to help my parents even if they are not asking for it. And many more things that require monetary transactions.
So today, I received a job offer. It was not exactly planned and I did not really apply for it. It just sort of landed on my lap in the midst of the pressure of finding a new job. How I dealt with it is yet another story but you see, the world has answers. Someone out there knows better.

b) CINE EUROPA

Because I'm cool. Haha! Nah, far from it. My friends are though, as they are the ones who told me about it. We watched a Danish film and my eyes were closed half of the entire duration of the film, because you know me, I can't stand anything that makes me jolt out of my seat. But more than the film, I enjoyed the "thought" of being in the festival. We saw our Development Econ professor lining up for the movie too and we said "hi" to him. He said "hi" back and probably wondered who we were. Also, I got so inspired by my friend Ria. We exchanged career/life stories while lining up for the tickets. She's working in one of the biggest banks in the country and she enjoys the coolest perks and pay imaginable. But she's giving these all up in pursuit of what she knows will make her happy. No matter what the cost is. She's currently taking up German and Spanish classes (she's leaving her company by November) and looks forward to studying in Europe. I wish I had her guts. Grabe.

c) DESPICABLE ME

"How many seats ma'am?", the girl behind the ticket counter asked. "Just one", I answered. Then she gave me that are-you-serious-look and gave me my ticket. It was 5 minutes before showtime and I rushed to Cinema 7 in Trinoma, I could not possibly miss the trailers. I am adding another answer to “When was the last time you did something for the first time?”. Today! I watched a movie by myself and totally enjoyed it. I giggled, laughed, swooned to the minions’ and the orphans’ cuteness and cried towards the end when Mr. Gru read to them the One Big Unicorn bedtime story he made up himself and finally gave them a goodnight kiss. Gusto kong maging 5 years old uli!



d) SHOES

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
I got this pair from Trunkshow for a fraction of a price I would have paid in some other store. I have only 2 kinds of shoes at home: Chucks and high-heeled shoes. Boring! This pair of boy flats is refreshing-- I love!
 
                                                                           

e) BIG BANG THEORY
 
My cousin, a Chemistry major, taught me that I can learn while bumming. Weird is good. I found this series boring at first - - I was more into in-your-face-humor of Barney in How I met your Mother or feeling kolehiyala with Gossip Girl or feeling artist with Glee but this kind of grew on me.
I want an Indian accent! I'm so entertained.
 
 
 
 
 
f) BACK TO SCHOOL
 
Just hours ago, I received an e-mail with a really positive introduction: "Dear Applicant: We are pleased to inform you that you have been admitted to the Program..." This time, it's not a Master's degree or an MBA but something really close to my heart. Thank you! Thank You!
 
Oh yeah, all in a day's work/tambay time of an unemployed.=p
 

HEY, THANKS!

 It's difficult to be all Little Miss Sunshine when there's so much that you think and feel you are going through. People ask where I store all my energy and where I keep my basket of happinness, but really there is none. I have tons of woe-is-me moments (ang loser ko! haha!) but I have mastered the art of keeping that to myself or fighting them off. And I find no greater feeling of satisfaction if I fought them off. My samurai and shield against these "I suck moments"?

a) Be a kid at heart. Always and Forever.
b) Keep an attitude of gratitude. The universe was created for me (and for you too!!), that makes me (and you too!!) VIP. =D


I wrote this post just so I could share the expression I came across in a tumblr site, "attitude of gratitude". I love it. Credits to Mr. Mark Gosingtian.

MAROONED

matatapang, matatalino, walang takot kahit kanino...

Question: When was the last time you did something for the first time?

Answer: Yesterday! I watched the UAAP cheerdance competition live at the Araneta Coliseum. UP won! Yey! I was rooting for another school though but I was OA-ness glorified, i did not care about the results (sorry hardcore fans), win or lose, this first timer chick is happy because she gets to be on TV, kahit parang tuldok lang. Haha! 

I can still feel the drums vibrating through my heart and the chants ringing in my ears - ang sarap maging part ng crowd na feel na feel nila yung ginagawa nila or feel na feel nila yung moment. I like that expression: feel na feel.

From hereon, whatever I'll do or wherever I'll be, I will make sure that I am in a "feel na feel" disposition. Hello passion!=p  Yeah boy, may moral lesson! (sabay tumbling, tayo, clap the hands once, nod, then smile ala Kirsten Dunst in Bring it On!) The tragic 0-13 (o 14?) basketball men's standing still sucks though.

   

PLAY WITH ME

It's the sacred fire of passion that serves as the most potent vehicle for our dream. -Pablo Neruda

I watched Xanadu with two of my friends last night and throroughly enjoyed it. Actually, kahit saang play o stage performances niyo ko dalhin, matutuwa talaga ako. I look up to those who are into theatre because to get into it, you have to put your heart and your soul in the craft. Artists are on top of my "idols" list. Back in college, I took up 3-units of theatre elective to the amusement of those in the SpeechCom Department. They could not understand why an Economics major like me would want to get theatre credits. Thank you Cory for restoring democracy.

I am proud to say that I have been on Palma Hall's Wilfredo Guerrero theatre's stage (sa stage mismo, di sa audience seats) and delivered a line which I still memorize up to now: Red Riding Hood is in danger, here we come with anger! Ang kaisa-isang linyang ipinagkatiwala ng direktor sa'kin, naman! But I told myself, there are no small parts, only small actors. Haha! Really now, it was not a serious play and we did an adaptation of The Little Red Riding Hood just because my professor wanted her daughter to be little red riding hood. But who cares? I got to wear leather boots that ride up my thighs and got to be one of the five superheroes who rescued the little girl from the mean, scary, angry wolf. Kanya-kanyang script, walang pakialamanan.=p 

After my UP days, I content myself watching commercially produced plays. The tickets are a little expensive but the experience of watching live performances is priceless. Whenever I watch a play, I take note of words and lines used, addict lang, and here are two of the most amusing ones (wait lang, tama bang expression yung 2 of the amusing 1's? whatever!=p):

from AVENUE Q:

Schadenfreude
-german term for the happiness from the misfortune of others
-sabi ng wikipedia, "making me feel glad that I am not you"





It's not really an inspiring word, in fact it's a loser/bitter word but you have to watch the play to feel really amused by it. Also, aside from their beer, I like the language of Deutschland. I took up German 10 in the summer of 2006 and I think I got a pretty decent grade.

from XANADU:

Xanadu

In the beginning of the play, it was described as a gift so great, no man nor even the gods can put words into its meaning.
Towards the end though, xanadu, meant true love and the gift of arts.
Oh yes, we all deserve our xanadu's!





Now that I have quite a lot of free time, I'm thinking of visiting UP's theatre department to see whether there's something out there worth watching. And since I'm planning on switching careers, eh kung mag-artista nalang kaya ako? haha! In my dreams!


Pictures are from Atlantis Production